


when i am nervous about getting or keeping a job

by Kleenexwoman



Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Multi, Poetry, Self-Insert, working stiffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-28
Updated: 2012-07-28
Packaged: 2017-11-10 21:59:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleenexwoman/pseuds/Kleenexwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This poem was published in the 'zine "Working Stiffs."</p>
            </blockquote>





	when i am nervous about getting or keeping a job

i have moved to the big apple from someplace small   
where people breathe down your neck. idaho or appalachia.   
i am intelligent and quiet, easygoing but stubborn. 

i get a job   
as a secretary for uncle   
i like the idea that i am doing something good for the world   
i don't like having to wear high heels. but you do   
what you have to. 

apparently the first thing that happens when you are hired   
after the facility tour and after you get your key to the restroom   
is napoleon solo asks you out to dinner   
as a sort of welcoming party of two.   
oh, i say, i can't, i'm busy   
but thank you. it's so nice 

people are unexpectedly nice   
in the big city. 

he's persistent and i'm stubborn   
and after a while the other typing pool girls   
are starting to wonder. most of the women   
who turn him down are, you know,   
out of his league or married   
or something. 

(i forgot to mention: i'm reasonably cute   
not exactly dumpy, not a bombshell   
i wear my hair short) 

and i'm stubborn but i'm not that stubborn.   
friday night.   
i ask him to pick me up at my apartment   
if we're going to do this

i'm powdering my nose or whatever girls do before a date   
when he comes by. so he's met at the door   
by, oh,   
sometimes she's named tina and she's a roller derby girl and blonde   
sometimes she's named betty and she works in a factory and she's brunette   
at any rate she's always very protective and a little territorial 

listen, she says,   
if you're here to pick up my girl   
you can forget it, buddy   
nobody kisses those ruby lips   
nobody lays a hand on those bazooms   
except me

(there's a reason i moved to the city) 

it's alright, i say   
he's a friend. from work.   
right?   
tina, betty, please don't punch him. 

later, over wine,   
i say,   
please don't tell anyone   
this is a good job   
i'd hate to lose it 

(i'd hate to have to tell everyone   
that i saw you and that quiet blonde russian fellow   
making out in an empty office   
i was behind the file cabinet   
for reasons entirely related to my job.) 

after a few months of typing it becomes clear   
my strength is in research. i can ferret out   
small facts that make all the difference   
and i am very happy   
flipping through case reports and encyclopedias   
for hours at a time. 

(and i keep my job   
and tina/betty 

and napoleon and i are friendly, if not friends   
friends from work) 

i am transferred. i am very pleased   
i don't have to wear high heels anymore.


End file.
